It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
