So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
