it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
