i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
