YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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