oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
