I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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