Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
