i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
