my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize