i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
