yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
