i don't like sucking hair
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
