I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
