The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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