I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
