9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
