please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didn't shave. On purpose
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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