i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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