Just fell off a train. Bad.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you would pick up someone in the library
operation have a gay friend backfired
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it's great music for shaving your balls
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
