T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Girls should come with a carfax report
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
