You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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