you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
