3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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