I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
