I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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