question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I party with great urgency now.
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