did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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