you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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