Me too!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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