You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
