is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
