i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
