I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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