was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
