My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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