Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I need help removing her.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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