i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We are all done wearing pants today
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