i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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