Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
