im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
