Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
