I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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