Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
