allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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