I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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