He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
