its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
