The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
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Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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