the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We need to get me chipped asap
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
