I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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