the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
