i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
