I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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