I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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