that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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