What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
