how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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