When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
