my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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