Need sex. Gaining weight.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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