And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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