make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
