the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
