Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
